you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
