I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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