My liver just broke up with me...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
