HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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