thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize