Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
