my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
