i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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