I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
