Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize