so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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