he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
