He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
