Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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