Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize