This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im holly from the hills drunk
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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