she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
