We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I need to calm my uterus...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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