he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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