I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize