I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
