It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
