i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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