So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
