so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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