I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
