she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
