I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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