I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
