the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
