yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
