No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
