what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize