I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
