There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
