dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
