cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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