PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
