and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
