And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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