You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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