well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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