I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
