Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dude. I can hear the air.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
