its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
