im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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