I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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