just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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