I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
