i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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