I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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