i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
