I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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