it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
