I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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