wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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