ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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