I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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