Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
