I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
