ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
