Tell her she can't have a vagina
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How does one acquire holy water?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
