i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
