no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
