guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
