Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize