Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
