his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my shit smells like andre
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
