I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
