Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
